Sorry this is a month later than our road trip.  We only had a $2,000,000 budget so we had to cut a few corners in post production.

Enjoy.

Tapwerks, Oklahoma City, OK

What’s remarkable about this bathroom is the chalk board.

Giant Texas Rest Stop, Somewhereville, TX

The mosaic on the wall is a perfect representation of prairies outside.  And yes, you read right, there’s a mosaic in this rest stop bathroom.  In addition, the bathroom was impeccably clean.  Best rest stop ever. 4 rolls.

Coyote Bluff Cafe, Amarillo, TX

In this “bathroom,” the toilet seems more of an afterthought to the giant hot water heater that occupies the majority of the room.  You’d think a place that serves texas chili and homemade habanero sauce would recognize that hot water isn’t necessarily their biggest priority. Urine, hot water, in this bathroom. 1.5 rolls.

Gross Gas Station, Someplaceton, NM

You have to feel sorry for that lonely little box of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda, in way over its head in this bathroom that doesn’t smell like it’s been cleaned since New Mexico entered the union.  Arm & Hammer’s one friend, the toilet brush, seems to have died a long time ago, with its sad little corpse still lying by enemy it just couldn’t defeat.  1 roll.

Semi-Gross Reststop, Nowhereborough, NM

This bathroom wasn’t terribly dirty, but smelled like someone poured a years supply of Kool-Aid into a chlorinated swimming pool.  And then peed in it.  Oh yeah!!! Outside, there was this weird “America’s Funniest Home Videos” style voting system.  Sometimes, in a democracy, you still end up with results that stink.  2 rolls.

The Hyatt Regency, Albuquerque, NM

If you play your cards right, Bill Shatner and your pals at Priceline.com may hook you up with a swanky hotel for $60.  This toilet would make a fine captain’s chair for Kirk or his Number 2.  4 rolls.

Atomic Cafe, Albuquerque, NM

This metal dive bar’s bathroom felt like walking into the pages of Mad Magazine.  Then urinating on them.  Not the cleanest, but bonus rolls for decor.  3.5 rolls.

Welcome Center, Petrified Forest National Park, NM

If you’re walking in the urinal, try not to slip.  2 rolls.

Off Road Cammode, Flagstaff, AZ

This is a camouflage toilet seat you attach to the trailer hitch of your truck.  Only $39.95 to get shit on my socks?  I’ll take it!  0 rolls.

Grand Canyon National Park, AZ

This 6-foot deep chemical toilet mimics what it might be like to whiz into the Grand Canyon itself, minus the inevitable liquid updraft. 2 rolls.

Jamie's Bathroom, San Clemente, CA

A bathroom with a view!  Jamie scrubed in advance of our visit to earn 4 rolls, and he deserves them.  The beautiful view of the pacific means you can see clean, blue water without 10,000 Flushes! 4 rolls.

We couldn’t resist the east meets south-west “General Tso’s Burrito.”  We probably should’ve.

Doc Holiday’s, Williams, AZ

Every breakfast food you can think of, perfect for a pre-Grand Canyon calorie bulk-up.

Maswick Cafeteria, Grand Canyon National Park, AZ

School lunch-style trays and school lunch-style sweet older lunch ladies!  Chicken pot pie, dinner roll, german chocolate cake.

Rosa’s Cantina, Williams, AZ

When we sat down at the table, Taylor said, “This was a mistake.” Mediocre mexican, and an explosive salsa squeeze bottle.

Denny’s, Kingston, AZ

A Grad Slam, a Grandslamwich, and amazing Pancake Hush Puppies.  Delicious, their food scientists must be working overtime.

Fisherman’s Wharf, San Clemente, CA

Steamed clams, fish tacos, and red clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl.  Almost as amazing as the pacific sunset the restaurant overlooks.

Antoine’s, San Clemente, CA

Nothing fried!  Vegetable quesadilla and a bagel with goat cheese, tomato, and onion.

Karl Strauss, Burbank, CA

Turkey avacado burger with fancy chips, fancy mac n’ cheese w/ a fancy salad.  Fancy beers.

The only real way to see a site like the Grand Canyon is with someone that has lived it.  You’re not going to get a fake, commercial tour with Marvelous Marv.  You’re going to get the real Grand Canyon.

Marvelous Marv has been touring the Grand Canyon for more than 30 years.  Marv is the last private tour guide that we could find.  What amazed me the most is that Marv still says, “Wow!” the same times  you do when you look out at the canyon. The appreciation he has for the canyon and it’s surroundings are nothing less than passionate. Check out his site at http://www.marvelousmarvstours.com/

Enjoy the pictures that we took but realize it’s true when people say no picture will ever do this place justice…

We liked it. Therefore, we put a ring on it.

]]> http://thetravelingpants.wordpress.com/2009/10/03/were-going-to-need-a-really-big-ring/feed/ 1 Mikey canyonring http://thetravelingpants.wordpress.com/2009/10/02/see-food-part-2/ http://thetravelingpants.wordpress.com/2009/10/02/see-food-part-2/#comments Fri, 02 Oct 2009 18:35:09 +0000 Mikey http://thetravelingpants.wordpress.com/?p=392 ]]> Vino’s, Little Rock, AR

A good old fashioned dive bar, felt like home.  Vegetable pizza, fresh house-brewed beer.

Forty-Two, William J. Clinton Presidential Library, Little Rock, AR

Unusually good food for a museum cafe, Bill would be proud.  Turkey club on rosemary toast with avacado, lamb pita, homemade seasoned chips.

Tapwerks, Oklahoma City, OK

Sadly, Mama E’s Wings and Waffles was closed, but we found hundreds of beers, a huge bowl of chips, and a tasty brat/kraut platter in a part of town called Bricktown.

Coyote Bluff Cafe, Amarillo, TX

This Texas roadhouse had the friendliest service, incredible fries, and massive, honking, texas-sized burgers.

Late Night Hot Dog Cart, Albuquerque, NM

A hot dog’s the same no matter where you are, coast to coast, LA to Chicago, except in Chicago, they’re actually different.

Lindy’s Diner, Albuquerque, NM

We stumbled into this diner, only realizing when we’d paid the bill that the photos on the wall were of celebrity guests.  Fantastic diner food, no wonder Speed’s Dennis Hopper had, at one point, stopped in.  Sausage, eggs, and toast, and a breakfast burrito.

For me, the strangest thing was that it smelled like somebody’s house.  It was like walking into a friend’s house … only you paid $30 to go there, you had to pour out your coffee before you could go inside, and your friend has been dead for 30 years.

Elvis bought Graceland at the ripe old age of 22, and aside from his brief stint as a marine in Germany, resided there for his entire life.  After Elvis’s death, Graceland was preserved as the King left it, with floor to ceiling shag carpet, eclectic furnishings, and a tchotchke collection that makes TGIFriday’s look minimalist.

Long live the King.

Me and Taylor in the King's mirror.

Not long after, we stopped at a rest stop.  Look at the size of that parking space!

Big.

Now, look at the size of the rest stop!

Really big.

Now check out the vastness of countryside!

This lawn mower has his work cut out for him.

Now check out the “Largest Cross in the Western Hemisphere!”

Jesus, that's big.

]]> http://thetravelingpants.wordpress.com/2009/10/01/everythings-literally-bigger-in-texas/feed/ 3 Mikey IMG_0306 IMG_0308 IMG_0311 IMG_0318